Somebody needs a hug
by Fayth3
Summary: River is having a bad day. What can Jayne do to make her feel better? Based on the Keith Anderson song of the same name. Not a song-fic


**Somebody needs a hug.**

Jayne lay sprawled on his bunk engrossed in an old gun magazine, thinking covetously about a sweet little MX-220 auto-locking gun with a double barreled handle and brass covered plates.

Shame it was way out of his pay-grade.

If only Mal would take on some more jobs and not care if they were on planets that may offer Inara clients.

Woman was a companion; Mal should just get over it and let the woman do her job. Either that or tell her he loved her and get her to stop whoring.

Women weren't so complicated as Mal made 'em out at be. They were like weapons. Treat 'em good, keep 'em happy and get outta the way when they went off.

Simple.

He was flipping the pages over to leer at an outdated laser rifle when he heard the stomp of little booted feet.

Uh oh.

He swung his legs off his bunk as the hatch opened and a figure dropped down into his bunk.

"Hey Riv-"

"Don't!" River hissed and Jayne was taken aback.

Since Miranda, Jayne and River had been working their relationship from ship-mates to partners, to friends and Jayne had been starting to hope River looked on him as something a little more than friends.

But not if her current state was any indication.

"Gorram, Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh ur-tze."

Jayne blinked. "Uh, me?"

River shot him a withering look as she started to pace back and forth in front of the ladder. "Simon, Captain, Inara!" She waved her hands. "All got heads stuck up pi-gu and… and… urgh!"

So angry that she couldn't find the words in English, River began swearing in Chinese fast and furious and with some surprising combinations that even Jayne had never thought of.

Never let it be said that his girl wasn't creative.

Of course she was also the most dangerous person in the verse and she was having a bad day.

He should probably get the hell outta his bunk and let her rant and rave and possibly destroy things.

Better yet, he should probably get her away from the arsenal he had in his room in case she decided to show their feng-le crewmates why it was a bad idea to piss off the crazy assassin.

Then again, Jayne never did the smart thing.

"What's wrong bao bei?"

River gave a small scream. "Fly us here, albatross. Take this medicine, mei-mei. Where's Simon, Riv? Should you be here, lil witch, not the place for a little girl? No guns, no fighting. Not well, River. Well enough to fly, not enough to help on jobs. You could dress like a lady, River. She's still so young." River's voice changed with each phrase so Jayne could tell exactly who it was that had opened their mouths and inserted their feet. "Here, not here. Help, don't help. Woman, child, albatross, witch, CRAZY!"

River kicked the bunk and grimaced when it did nothing but hurt her foot.

Jayne caught the smile before it even tried to flit past his lips. He liked danger- he wasn't suicidal.

"Aw poor River-gi--," River's glare dared him to finish that word.

"Uh. Darlin'," he amended. "Sounds like you had a bad day, all right."

"Make up gorram minds. Girl or weapon? To be protected or to protect? And no more needles!" she seethed viciously.

"Right. Don't need 'em, yer plenty fixed." Jayne bit his lip not wanting to say the wrong thing for once.

"Fixed! Broken." River directed a glare at him for whatever reason and began pacing in earnest.

Jayne was lost. What had he said?

So much for his saying women were simple.

What would he do if Vera or Martha or any of his girls were bucking and kicking and making a fuss?

A slow grin made his way across his face.

"Honey-girl," he said, "I think somebody needs a hug."

River gave him her very best 'too-stupid-to-live' look and continued pacing, muttering to herself in creative obscenities.

"Yessiree, what you need is a big ol' Jayne hug," he said looking her up and down. "A full on bear hug that squishes the breath right outta ya."

"She requires a grenade and the use of an airlock for the Huh choo-shung tza-jiao duh tzang-huo."

Jayne coughed to hide his laugh. "Don't reckon Mal thinks that way on cattle, bao bei. Ain't sure about Simon."

He caught the slightest twitch of River's lip and ploughed on.

"Yer need to be wrapped up in a hug like that song… ma used to sing it to me afore I went sleep. Uh… snug as a bug in a rug."

River paused and eyed him incredulously. "Insects in linen is hardly an appropriate bedtime narrative. I digress."

"Possibly," Jayne had no idea what digress meant but figured it was probably bad. "But I'm sure it'll come about. Especially if I give ya an old Jayne bear hug."

River sighed loudly in exasperation. "Enfolding will not lessen the need to make holes in Simon and rearrange Inara's shuttle so that she can be more lady-like in rags." River snarled. "She likes her dresses!"

"Me too, honey-girl. Love the way they swish on ya," Jayne eyed the swirl of material around her long slim limbs and grinned again thinking on places those legs would look great.

River sniffed. "She thanks you. Support is appreciated. He does not see her as a child despite constant affectionate shortenings of her name."

"Ain't no way you a girl, bao bei. You're all woman. And even women need a little sugar sometimes."

He could tell she wasn't convinced. Her mind was probably still rolling with all of the mixed signals she was getting from the crew and Jayne wondered if this was truly a bad idea. He should probably let her cool down herself.

In fact if he had any sense he'd just get out.

But then no one ever said Jayne Cobb was sensible.

"Honey-girl, let me fix this."

River turned wide eyes to him. "You'll shoot Captain Daddy?"

He shrugged, not bothered either way. If Mal had done something stupid enough to anger his psychic then he deserved to have his entrails ripped out and showed him.

"Iffin you want. I was thinking something a little less bloody." He opened his arms. "Come on in."

River shook her head.

Jayne shrugged, arms still open. "You need some personal attention, honey-girl. A little Jayne style affection."

One lip twitched again as he waggled his eyebrows lecherously.

"Just think, River, a big hun dan like me wrapping his arms around ya, body to body squeezing together close enough to get us sent to the special hell. You and me, Honey-girl, snuggling."

River bit her lip as the gruff mercenary said the word 'snuggling' without choking. Her bad mood was ebbing away as he playfully winked at her and he knew it.

"Ya know ya want me, honey-girl. Want me bad. And I can be as bad as you want. But right now, get your sweet pi-gu over here and let me squash that nasty Cap, stuck up brother and Core-whore outta yer head."

River gave a snorted laugh and gave in, sauntering over to him and wrapping her arms around Jayne's thick waist and allowing him to envelop her in his embrace.

She sighed as she sank into the mercenary and felt his warm scent swamp her.

Like he said, all thought of the Captain, the Companion and her idiot of a brother drifted out of her head as Jayne squeezed tightly.

And tighter. And tighter.

Until there was no room between their bodies and River was finding it hard to breathe.

"Oxygen?" she questioned weakly.

"Want me to let go?" Jayne offered.

The words came from her lips without bypassing her brain. "Never." She looked up at him with doe eyes and pretty pouting lips.

As those beautiful sparkling eyes turned his insides to mush, Jayne realised that he never wanted to release the girl from his arms.

She wasn't the only one who'd needed a hug.


End file.
